"Eat, think, and be merry....!!"

Why is it when we’re sad, happy, angry or whatever, we often turn to food for our greatest comfort?? It doesn’t apply to everyone, but it certainly applies to me…! Which explains that when I’m overwhelmed with emotions, you can *ehem* see it…. hahaha…. When I’m happy, I celebrate it by dining out… When I’m sad I crave the solitary of myself with a nice cake in my company…. When I’m stressed I need a cup of starbucks or chocolate to make me feel better… When I’m angry, I will get picky with my food cause I have to make sure that the food will swallow all my sorrows away…

I read in a book that you are what you eat… Emotion wise of course… When you’re happy, your food of choice could be steak or pizza, when you’re sad it could be ice cream or cookies, and when you’re bored it could be potato chips. Food does more than fill our stomachs — it also satisfies feelings, and when you quench those feelings with comfort food when your stomach isn’t growling, that’s emotional eating.

Well… What I’m trying to do now is change my eating habits so that what I put in my mouth is also nourishing my body and not necessarily just tasting good. I’m doing pretty good so far, but it’s tough because I’m also an emotional eater, and when I’m feeling particularly sad or dejected, I tend not to care about all that. ..

Virtual world dilemma

It’s been precisely 40 days in Bali, and 40 days of virtual dilemma.

I’ve lost the habit of facebook-ing at night before I go to sleep and blogging each time I’ve felt any kind of overwhelming emotions and experience. Who’d ever thought that living in Bali meant limited access to the internet? Well I do have my trusty blackberry… And don’t get me wrong, I’m still in love with my blackberry but the thought of having to browse internet by squinting my eyes and continuous zooming is not at all comfortable. Blackberry still gives me my social life and I can still write my troubles through my handy dandy qwerty keypad, but again the blackberry wasn’t meant to be my base of virtual life. I still need a minimum 15 inch monitor and a keyboard that allows me to utilize my other fingers other than my thumbs.

Funny, I was hoping that the office of a company this big would have high speed internet access, but I assumed wrong. Instead I’m stuck with an office with 3 computers that all depends on an inconsistent internet access and troubling email access. Please imagine the shock I’m going through here… And I was also shocked to hear that in a park this big of 48 hectares; there are only 2 IT expertises here! Imagine that! Maybe I’m being skeptical… Because I know it’s a lot of coping and adaptation of the system and politics here. I am comparing a park that has just opened for almost 3 years to my previous company who was already well organized and has been established in Indonesia for more than 25 years. It’s a big change..!! And not only that, I am pretty used to the development of technology since I was in grade school. Being the geek that I am, I have been exposed to the virtual world since I was at a very young age. So please give me the privilege to whine and complain my way through this blog.

Hmm… But on second thought, this isn’t good. I try to live by the positive side of life… Ok… On the positive side, I am starting to appreciate other things outside technology… Life becomes more simpler and just very different compared to Jakarta, but I guess it does get me more in touch with my ‘humane’ and sensitive side… I do appreciate the little things more now… The little things that may be stupid things when I’m living in Jakarta, but I appreciate it more now…

You know what they say... Living in the city makes you hard while living in the countryside makes you soft. I guess I can survive through it to make a somewhat balance in my life… LOL

Day 20 in Bali

Day 20 as a safari employee… I think I’m getting the hang of it.

No doubt even though I'm still experiencing a little bit of a culture shock, but it's rather enjoyable… I feel independent in working… I can come in for work every single day but I can strangely have time for myself... I guess mostly because my life now no longer consists of long high powered formal meetings, high frequency of flight schedule, overtime in the office until busways are no longer operating, and worse of all, laughing at my client's joke even if I didn't find it the least bit funny but necessary to boast his or her ego and arrogance.. All the things that were slowly eating away my dignity and idealisms.. The things that looked like it could strip me from my own identity... It's no longer here.

There are a couple of things I miss... I miss the people I meet... Saying goodbye is probably one of my biggest challenge, and my weakest point. I miss their laughs and sense of humor..., god knows that jokes are now in the mouth of the beholder.., and the sense of humor I get from my friends in Jakarta, is so different than the sense of humor here... I miss my friends, and long intellectual discussions over starbucks or in hotel lounges... And I miss the luxury of my old life..., having lived the lifestyle there... One could only imagine how much I gave up to adapt to a new lifestyle...

And of course I miss my family... I miss my mom's impulsive spending habits and incessant worries, my dad with his intellectual perspectives on politics and science, kakak with her dominant and out of the box ideas, emas's aloofness, tracy's apprehensiveness, quin's quiet and shy self and Enzo my cool and hyperactive nephew too!! :D

Well, so far I'm doing allright and I'm surviving...
But there was a funny incident when I was guiding today that nearly made me fall of my chair... So there was this kid, around the age of 6-7. An Indonesian kid, but I reckon he was schooled overseas... Well, this kid is actually pretty bright and kinda made me speechless a couple of times...

So a couple of conversational stuff:

(In the Lion exhibit)
Me: “okay….. so now we’re gonna see the king of the jungle!!”
other guests: oohhh….. the lions!!
Kid: But the lions live in the savannah… why do they call him king of the jungle??
Me: eh… (speechless)…. It's just a saying.... hehehe.... +___+

(In the cheetah exhibit)
Me: Cheetas can run up to 125 km per hour!
Kid: So how do you catch the cheetah? Was the car who caught him speeding also??
Gw:…. ehm.. (confused)… +__+

(In the sunbear exhibit)
Me: So the sun bears also eat honey, and as you can see there's a beehive up there...!
Kid: Do sunbears ever get stung by a bee??
Me:…. Ehmmm…. I'm not sure, but I think they can manage.. +__+;;

(in the hippo exhibit)
Me: So the hippos can stay underwater for about 6 minutes!
Kid: So if they are down there for 10 minutes can they drown and die?
Me: hmmm.... I've never heard of a hippo commiting suicide.. +__+

(in the orangutan exhibit)
Me: So in malay, ‘orang’ means ‘man’ and ‘utan’ means ‘forest’, so they’re also called ‘man of the forest’
Kid: what about the girl ones? What is the woman of the forest?
Me: hahahaha… you are so politically correct!! hehe... +___+;;

anyway…
The parents of this kid must be really proud, and I can totally tell by the grin on the mum's face during the whole journey...!
And even though half the time this kid is so annoying that there were times like I wanted to throw him off the tram to be fed to the lions, but this is actually amusing and very touching for me, while at the same time thinking: Damn! This kid's way smarter than me!! +___+

hahahahha.........

Women Hormonal Hell

Today I feel like my mood swings are caused by my unbalanced hormonal discharge. One minute I’m super nice, another minute I’m just angry (arrgh!!), and then all of the sudden I’m super nice again… It does make me feel like a three-headed monster sometimes, and no doubt I feel a little bit guilty for all the people close to me that has to tolerate my craziness today.. haaha…

I am pretty sure that men and women both experience their share of mood swings, but for some reason, female mood swings are just so obvious..! A noted difference between a man and a woman… When a man is cranky, they usually assume “it’s a bad day! and don’t bug me!”… But for women, the mood is like so unstable and it goes up and down like a roller coaster ride..!

There’s that magnificent excuse that we women use to act like a witch with a capital B (and works everytime) called “PMS”, medically known as Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. The mood swings that makes us that way is generally attributed to the biological evidence that there is link between our mood to our menstrual cycle, usually the PMS state is tracked down around one week before our period, and you can usually detect it when a women just blurts out all of their repressed negative feelings.. haha… ;p

Anyway, here are some tips for people who are facing women with PMS…

1. No surprises. Do NOT drop any big news / questions / problems that can insanely turn a woman into a raving stressed out lunatic. Usually when in PMS, a woman does not have her FULL attention and everything in her head is like a disastrous catastrophe, so if there is anything that requires her to make grand decisions, wait for a better time when she can give it her full attention with a sane mind.

2. Don’t point out the PMS. Women can be touchy about being labeled as a lunatic for a few days a month (it’s the harga diri thing.. ;p). If you notice a woman’s behavior a little out of control, just don’t blame the PMS. A woman at this state will feel like she is controlled and make her feel angrier.. haha…

3. Understand diet changes. Women often seek comfort food, carbs and chocolate when they’re PMS-ing regardless of their otherwise strict diet.Do NOT comment on her new dietary choices, and the best you can do right now is stay out of the way between food and a woman… haha

4. Do NOT make changes. At a time like this, sometimes a woman just need to stick to a routine to feel like she is in a secure position. Do NOT make a change to typical routines, because it will make repressed negative feelings of ‘things are changing’ drama queen act come out. ;p

Well, so far these are the tips that I thought of..
Hopefully it can help the lives of many people out there who doesn’t know what to do when faced with PMS-ing women..
(Somehow I was in a good mood when I wrote this despite my current PMS).. ;p Thus I thought I should write this before I get angry again..!! hahaha…

never enough

I wonder if it's human nature, or is it really because we don't really enjoy what we're doing... It's like we're always complaining and asking for more, as if more is never enough. It's like when they ask you, "Is the glass half empty or half full?" Well you know what, sometimes I wonder if the glass is actually bottomless.

Expecting anything to be perfect is pure stupidity. It's like asking for really good tasting cheesecake, without the cheese...!! is that even possible?? well it's possible, except then it wouldn't be called a cheesecake anymore...

Well whatever, here's my cheese for today and i'm left completely in thoughts that are too complicated to explain. +___+

out of my head

So lately I have been feeling a little out of place for a while... The basic quarter life crisis stuff in which I am confused with what I wanna do with my life... Where I feel like I'll have a great career if I stick to the company I work for, but then again I feel like there are so many other things, so many other dreams that I wanna chase. I don't quite understand why lately I have been a little ungrateful of my condition...

Truthfully, I have never imagined myself to be in a place where I am now... To be honest, nothing in my life has ever gone the way I planned... So what hurts me the most is that very same question: why?..... why?..... why?.....

I have a good job, a good salary, a good career ahead of me, so why am I not happy with what I am doing??

I have my weird idealisms, and when I tell people that I want to quit my job they'd think I was crazy cause hello!! It's a good company! Out of the thousands of people who are jobless in Indonesia, I have a good job, good salary and a good future... So why the hell do I want to leave it?

Nope. Stupid Question.
I know the answer already.
I don't hate my job. I just hate the fact that I'm doing this job.
Because simply I don't want to pursue my life as a large company executive and then come home at the end of the day thinking to myself: "Okay... So what have I done to make a difference in the world today?" "Have I done something useful today?" "Am I on the right path to at least make a difference with my own expertise?"
Cause even now, after more than 1 year working in Pfizer, I still doubt my own answer.

New tumblr. blog

I made a tumblr. blog!
http://nanedesu.tumblr.com
I love the layout!
The tumblr. blog is quite suitable for short remarks on life, things in which I feel is a total waste of time and space if I were to post on blogspot or wordpress which usually requires me to be more wordy (vocabulary wise) and grammatically correct. ;)